I'm Sorry
by Raphianna
Summary: (Set in HotR) Spencer feels horrible. First, he hurt his brother, then he tried killing James' brother. To top it off, he's been selfish and boastful, which he hates about himself. For him, even after Hiro was fixed, he didn't know what to do. Until he finally spoke with said engine.


**I'm Sorry**

**A.N. First being… I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING IN SUCH A LONG TIME T_T I haven't even done much of anything on DA until recently… but I'm back, with a oneshot from Hero of the Rails :)**

**A.N. 2 Like I did with Thomas' history, I would like to alter James' history- I'd like to adjust it, to have him be built by a British person to start, then passed on to a Japanese builder- the same builder that built Hiro, or a descendent of Hiro's builder or something like that, so that the idea of him and Hiro being half-brothers still works in me and my sisters' universe :) and Stanley and Spencer are also actually brothers as well :D**

…

Spencer sighed as he sat in the mud on the broken bridge that went over Marsh Land.

He was stuck there by his own foolishness, trying to beat Thomas in an unspoken race to Knapford to tell Sir Topham Hatt about Hiro.

Just recently, Thomas, his youngest cousin, came up to him saying that Hiro would be getting sent to the Steamworks. And while he was being repaired, Spencer would have to wait for help of his own.

Now, Spencer was dirty, cold, and lonely, with his only company being his thoughts.

There was also one thing that Thomas said that troubled the streamlined engine greatly.

It was found that Hiro, the great Master of the Railway was James' half older brother, who went missing soon after the two arrived on Sodor.

In that moment, Spencer knew why James had always seemed so depressed and sad, and why he swore he heard a Japanese accent in the red engine's speech as well.

Hiro. He was… James' brother. And he, tried having him killed.

Spencer clenched his eyes shut as tears built up behind his eyes.

Lady curse him.

This was one thing he wanted to avoid- hurting someone else. And yet, his pride overrode that feeling.

It brought him back to _that_ day with Stanley. The day the two yelled and screamed at each other at Brendam Docks, debating on where the next delivery was supposed to go.

Spencer was so sure the delivery needed to go to Knapford, but Stanley swore up and down it was to go to Wellsworth.

It was so trivial… they could have just asked someone for help… why didn't they…?

Spencer was so confident in his knowledge, and so angry at Stanley… he rushed forward and rammed into his little brother, knocking him off the tracks.

He would never forget what happened afterwards…

Stanley's screams of fear, his pleas for help, the look of absolute terror on Stanley's face as he tumbled from the tracks towards the edge of the docks… they locked eyes then, and all Spencer could do was scream and cry as his little brother fell over the edge…

Then the splash and deafening silence…

Spencer was thrown from his flashback back into reality as a scream rang through the air.

His scream.

He screamed openly and he sobbed loudly as he relived the waking nightmare.

He could have… he could have hurt Stanley badly- or worse.

When Stanley was rescued from the deep water, he couldn't stop crying and wailing once he was able to properly breathe. He stayed at Tidmouth for weeks, wouldn't talk to anyone, and wouldn't come out of the sheds even once. When he finally did, he absolutely refused to go anywhere near water or Brendam for the longest time.

All because of Spencer.

First, he hurt Stanley, which in turn, hurt the rest of his family. And now, he almost killed Hiro.

Spencer cried for the rest of the day, occasionally screaming out in agony, glad no one was around.

He truly hated the way he acted, but… his pride still more often than not stood in the way. And he couldn't stop it.

Why couldn't he stop it? Gordon was able to, but Spencer couldn't. Perhaps, he could talk with his younger cousin later when he was able to move…

Days later, Spencer felt emotionally heavy and tired from all his crying and screaming as he still waited for help to arrive.

_Why is it taking so long?_ Spencer thought to himself. _Is Hiro alright? Well, then again, practically everything had to be replaced on him last I saw._

The moment the last word of his thought went through his mind, he heard the sound of an engine moving next to him, though he didn't bother to look.

"Here I am, Spencer!" Came Thomas' childish voice, which made Spencer look at him. "I've come to help~"

"You can't help me Thomas…" Spencer sighed dejectedly. "You're not strong enough…"

"You're right Spencer." Thomas smiled as another engine moved in behind him. "But I have just the engine who can help." He said happily as he moved forwards, a large black engine moving next to Spencer.

The silver engine's eyes widened. "Who are you?"

"I am Hiro." The engine greeted happily.

"Are you the scrap engine?" Spencer asked before flinching at his harsh choice of words. Lady, he wish he could be slapped.

"I _was_ the scrap engine." Hiro corrected with a smile.

"Blistering boilers…" Spencer said softly in awe.

"Spencer," Hiro said softly. "It's time to get you out of the mud." He said with such care and comfort in his voice it almost made Spencer want to break down and cry again.

He watched as Hiro moved forward, pulling Rocky behind him.

The breakdown crane smiled. "Hello, Spencer!" He greeted. "What do you know?"

…

Now, Spencer, Hiro, and Thomas sat in front of the Duke and Duchess' finally finished summer house. Spencer was fixed and the three worked tirelessly to get it finished as soon as possible.

Now, the streamlined engine felt rather awkward. But he had to say something.

"Thomas," He sighed. "I'm sorry I thought you were a tricky engine. I, should have known better as your cousin." He looked to Hiro. "And Hiro, I'm sorry I called you a heap of scrap. Once again, I really should have known better from past experiences. You are both fine engines, and fine friends."

Both Thomas and Hiro beamed at the compliments coming from the silver engine, and they both forgave Spencer for his past offenses towards them.

Later that night, Thomas was sleeping at the platform that led to the summer house. His axels hurt and his wheels ached. The same could be said for Hiro and Spencer's, but they laid awake, in an awkward, yet comfortable silence.

"… Hiro?" Spencer said softly after a moment.

"Yes, Spencer?" Hiro hummed, taking his gaze away from the night sky and to the engine.

Spencer sighed. "You know… I really am sorry with how I treated you. I should have known better…" He grumbled. "And it isn't just you. I've, treated practically everyone like they were beneath me… And, and… when I heard from Thomas that you were James' brother, I…" He stopped and clenched his eyes shut, and bit his lip, trying not to cry.

Hiro smiled gently. "Spencer…" He said, gaining the other engine's attention. "I want you to know, that I forgive you."

"What?" Spencer looked up at him in shock, stray tears falling from his eyes. "Just- just like that? You've, forgiven me…?"

Hiro smiled. "Of course. I do not hold a grudge towards you. And I have spoken with James. He holds no grudge towards you either." He explained. "After our, ahem, emotional reunion, he told me about you. About how, you seem to be rather full of yourself and boastful most times, but when you think you're alone, you let that wall go, so to speak. And you show how you're just tired, and want the best for your family."

Spencer blinked. "_Thought_ I was alone?"

"Thomas, James, Percy, Toby, Emily, and Stanley." Hiro smiled. "They've seen how you act when you believed you were alone." He chuckled. "I believe those six are known as a sort of group here on Sodor now…?"

"The Main Six…" Spencer grumbled, side glancing Thomas. "They're practically the children of the island." He huffed before smiling a bit. "Of course those six would have snuck around."

Hiro chuckled. "It makes me pleased, to know that my little brother has made friends in my absence."

"Are you happy here?" Spencer asked quietly.

"Very much." Hiro agreed. "I have Thomas, my best friend. James, my little brother. And you, my new friend." He smiled. "And perhaps one day, James and I can return to Japan. But right now, our home is here."

Spencer smiled as well. "I'm, glad you feel that way, Hiro. I'm glad you're happy."

"And you?" Hiro asked. "Are you happy?"

"I…" Spencer sighed. "I'm trying to be…"

"Then like I said, my friend." Hiro replied. "Let go of that wall. The only reason you're acting this way is because you're insecure. You're scared, because of what you've done. But it's in the past now, and with help, you can move forward."

Spencer bit his lip before sighing. "A-Alright… I'll try."

"Good." Hiro smiled. "And we all will be there with you Spencer."

Spencer chuckled. "After all, what are friends for?"


End file.
